Theresa Harvard Johnson

Copyright 2009 Theresa Harvard Johnson

(This was written for the mentoring group, but I believe I needed to post it here.)

Over the past few days, I've had some unique experiences with Father. Just last night I was saying what I wasn't going to do, and just this morning he MADE ME do that very thing. Can God make us do something?
Yes, he can if you really love him. You will come to a certain place in which you will DENY your own will for His sake.

John 21:15-17
15 After breakfast, Yeshua said to Shim`on Kefa, "Shim`on Bar-Yochanan,do you love me more than these?" He replied, "Yes, Lord, you know I'm your friend." He said to him, "Feed my lambs."16A second time he said to him, "Shim`on BarYochanan, do you love me?"He replied, "Yes, Lord, you know I'm your friend." He said to him, "Shepherd my sheep."17The third time he said to him, "Shim`on BarYochanan, are you my friend?" Shim`on was hurt that he questioned him a third time: "Are you my friend?" So he replied, "Lord, you know everything! You know I'm your friend!" Yeshua said to him, "Feed my sheep!

Loving God is not solely about THE LOVE YOU FEEL FROM HIM. He ministered to me so profoundly in this area in this morning. Father began talking to me about how he LONGS to show us what true love really is beyond our understanding and how it should be heavenly reciprocated. He shared with me that many of us have become COMFORTABLE with RECEIVING His love, but we don't know how to give it back to him beyond words.

So many, raise their hands....
They say the words....
They shed the tears...
They do the dance....

But their hearts are FAR FROM HIM. 

Mark 7:6-8  says...
6Yeshua answered them, "Yesha`yahu was right when he prophesied about
you hypocrites -- as it is written, `These people honor me with their
lips, but their hearts are far away from me.
 7 Their worship of me is useless, because they teach man-made rules as if they were doctrines.' 8 "You depart from God's command and hold onto human tradition.

Now, we hear people quote this scripture all the time but Father said something to me so profound. He said, "Prophet, they don't understand that being FAR FROM me ... could be as simple as holding onto
the man-made doctrines and unbelief in their hearts. It's like they are going through the motions, while clinging fast to lies in their hearts."

What lies are we talking about?

The lies that say: I can't do this. This is to hard. I'm afraid. No one will listen to me. I'm afraid of what people will think. I don't want my feelings hurt. No one understands. The lie-list runs deep. Being far from God is
to "falsely think" you are in a place with him in which you ARE NOT. I know this is a hard word. Now, God loves us and he meets us where we are -- but there is a place of denial that the mind can take us to in which we enter into a place of self deception and we fail to break free COMPLETELY of the negative strongholds that bind us.

In God's word, LOVE is a VERB. It's not a noun.

Being far from God is literally being out of HIS WILL. It is refusing to be WHO HE HAS CALLED
AND PREORDAINED US TO BE. It is denying the WORKING of the power within you. It is denying the Lord an opportunity to be glorified in your life. It is telling the Lord, "I love you.... but I don't believe you can walk with me through this thing you've asked me to do."

I often tell the scribes assigned to me this: "Sometimes, you have to do it afraid."

In other words, when the Lord gives you a directive you just have to close your eyes, take a deep breathe and obey. That's what he was telling Peter in the scripture above. He was saying to him, "SHOW ME YOUR LOVE! THIS IS MY LOVE LANGUAGE PETER!"


There have been many times in my marriage when my husband has said to me,
"Show me you love me. I know you say it Theresa, but can you show me... you're always so technical, isolated and wanting alone time."

I had to learn my husband's love language. There came a point in my marriage when I had to acknowledge that it wasn't about what I wanted. I needed to DESIRE to give him what he wanted as well. That meant DENYING THERESA. That meant PUTTING the one relationship in my life that mirrored Christ before ANYTHING ELSE. After all, Father said to me, your marriage IS your tabernacle before the Lord.

I had to learn those things that when done in the confines of our unique relationship SPOKE LOVE to my husband. For Leonard, it is the quiet walk in the neighborhood as the sun goes down. It's the two of us catching a movie when the children fall asleep. It's the picnic on a cool afternoon or driving through the posh neighborhoods of Atlanta on Sunday after church. For him it is QUALITY TIME. I know this is a bit personal, but I cannot spare anything to get this point across to you by Holy Spirit.

We have to LEARN how to please God in the midst of HIM PLEASING US. We can't expect to live this live ONLY AS A RECIPIENT. 

Recipient: one who receives; a grantee; a person who gets something that benefits them; a receiver.

It's good to receive; but this is not how Jesus taught us to live our lives. If we learned nothing else from His time on the earth, we learned that that the greatest gift is not RECEIVING, but that of the Kingdom kind of
giving --- at all costs. Not only is Father this way, but he expects us to be this way as well.

The most intimate relationships in our lives are the ones we have with our Lord and then our spouses. Has not Father proven this?

My love language is ACTS OF SERVICE. For me, I don't need daily affirmations of someone's love for me. I'm not the quality time type. In fact, I tend to feel smothered when my husband hangs around too much or other people for that matter. I value that "Theresa" time. What I appreciate most from others is the keeping of vows, doing what you say you're going to do in a personal relationship. To me.... to Theresa that means love.

This morning, Father showed me people in this group whom I mentor personally who have all the right
words to say. They know how to "play the role" of loving God. They've learned expertly to RECEIVE his love, but they have not learned how to LOVE HIM BACK -- at least not in the way that HE truly desires.
Am I saying that you've missed God?

NO! I am saying that He wants to BRING YOU HIGHER in your relationship with him! I am saying that HE
wants to elevate you in intimacy! I am saying that He wants to give truth so that you BREAKTHROUGH into a new level of relationship with him! Don't allow that condemning mindset to take you some where else.

I am saying that He wants you to lay down what YOU fear doing and TRUST HIM as you walk it out. LOVING HIM is OBEYING HIM. He is saying, "SHOW ME YOU LOVE ME!"

Some here have been praying for direction and instruction. Others have been crying out in confusion; shutting down God connections cause life is too hard; talking themselves out of God
opportunities, backing out of commitments to go somewhere quite and "HEAR FROM HIM".... and he's saying, "TRUST ME by OBEYING ME. SHOW ME YOU LOVE ME!"

We are not on milk. There are no pacifiers in this army. I can't stand by and watch YOU halt, hinder or reject your destiny without sharing the word of the Lord with you today. Some of you know me, and even as you read this your mind will be saying, "She doesn't understand or I don't need to hear this..."

I'm telling you as a PROPHET OF GOD -- whom the Father SPEAKS TO & HEARS -- that this is exactly what you need today. Come up... come out... repent... get free of the selfishness.... and LOVE GOD by walking out the plans and purposes that He has for your life...

That's how YOU SHOW HIM you LOVE HIM. Do what HE told Peter....

Father, I pray that your children here you through your prophet. I pray that they understand
through your love what it means to be DOERS of the word and not hearers
only. I pray that they come into the revelation that you want to be
loved back through obedience. I pray that they grow in wisdom, knowledge
and understanding concerning your desire to fully commune with them. We
thank you Father for your patience with us, and your commitment to
walking us through. I ask, in the name of your son Jesus, that you MOVE
in their hearts by your Holy Spirit. I ask that you MOVE in their
hearts by your word. I ask that you MOVE in their lives... breaking
forth. I pray that they ARISE AND SHINE in Jesus Name."

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